Choose to be a Savior
by Lily MJ Fae
Summary: Rewrite of Choose a Savior. Hermione is kidnapped by death eaters before she and the boys run off. Forced to marry her potions professor. Warning, DARK THEMES AND EVENTS. Much darker than choose a Savior. Same basic story, with plot hole fillings and new or changed events. Same story but much darker
1. Prologue

_**A/N:**_ _Hello my lovely readers. I told myself I wouldn't start this until I finished_ _Not so Black and White_ _. However it's a brain worm that went go away. I must warn you, that this story is going to play much more to the dark and terrible things. So be warned. At the moment I am promising a minimum of 3k words per chapter excluding the prologue because mine are almost always shorter. So it might be longer before updates but this will be good practice. So remember: Darker themes ahead. Much darker. I will probably give warnings when the chapter is especially dark._

 **Prologue**

Hermione gently placed the rest of her clothes into the small bag. Her heart ached at the idea of what she was about to do, but she hadn't been left with much was too much danger. Despite the warmth of the room around her, goosebumps appeared on her chilled flesh.

"Hermione, come down. The tea is ready," her mother called from at the bottom of the stairs.

"Coming, Mother!"

Her heart pounded in her chest as she picked up the bag and grabbed her wand. She had been planning this for a while, and yet she still wasn't ready. She was about to make her existence disappear from the most important puerile in her life. The people solely responsible for her entire being, would have no idea who she even was anymore.

She kept her steps light as she started towards the stairs. Her face felt hot and she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself. She needed to do this, she needed to protect them. As Hermione crept slowly down the stairs. She wondered so many things. Would her parents ever dream of her? Would they feel like something was missing? Would they ever wonder what if they had a little girl?

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw the backs of her parents Hess as they sat on the couch, watching the telly. This would without a doubt be the hardest thing she had ever done.

She took a breath to steady herself and raised her wand, thinking of herself and of them. " _Obliviate_."

She waited as she felt their memories fading. Years worth of memories were slowly fading away from them. Would she just disappear from them and the events stay? Or would they have no recollection of 17 years of their life? As the old memories faded of who they were, she replaced them with new identities and new desires. If they left, they'd be safe.

Finally, she knew the spells had done what they needed and she made a move for the door, sneaking out as quietly as she could.

She ran for blocks before coming to a park bench and breaking down in tears.

It took a while, maybe an hour, maybe not even, before she collected herself and set off towards the second scariest thing she had planned that day.

* * *

 _"I'm sorry, Miss Granger, you don't have time to think about this."_

She could no longer tell which part of her day was the hardest as stepped out of the building onto the muggle street. Of course, no one noticed her as she started walking among them. Muggles were far too oblivious for their own good.

She walked, trying to think of what she would say. He would never forgive her. He couldn't find it in his heart. Her own heart was destroyed. Everything she had done today took its toll. She became lost in her thoughts and feelings and didn't notice the figures all in black that had started following behind her. It wasn't until she heard the soft family cable that she knew something was wrong. She looked up and turned around seeing the figures in their black robes.

She picked up her pace, bumping into a few puerile in the process. She needed to find a quiet area she could disaparate London was not full of places like that, and yet it was. She just needed a decent lead and an empty alleyway and she would be home free.

She took a deep breath, getting herself prepared to run, plenty of people ran, though she wasn't dressed for it. Then she took of into a sprint.

She heard the cackle again, this time angry and spiteful. Bellatrix was definitely there, though she couldn't tell whoever else might be there. It didn't matter, she ran through the throngs of people, prepared to fight if she had didn't dare look back, but she didn't hear footsteps anymore so she turned down the first alleyway that she found. She stopped for only a moment to catch her breath before disaparating, but it was enough.

Gloved hands grabbed hold of her and roughly, holding her in place and another hand clamped over her mouth as she attempted a blood curdling scream.

"Oh my," the rich familiar voice began, "such a predicament the pretty little mudblood has found herself in."

Hermione glared at the masked man, struggling against her captors.

"Our master well be very pleased that we have caught you. I can't wait to see what he has in store for you."

Her eyes went wide as the familiar silver snake head came into view and the wand pointed straight at her.

" _Stupefy!_ "

* * *

Hermione woke up in a dark, musty room, unsure of where she was. She lay on a scratchy blanket in the corner of the room she was in.

She couldn't see much because of a lack of lighting.

Her body hurt and she wasn't sure if it was from the running, the way she was probably manhandled or...

"You're awake."

She looked around, but couldn't see who spoke.

"You're going to listen to me very closely, and you might just survive."


	2. Chapter One

_**A/N:**_ _I really should not work on this one, but at the moment it's giving me more muse than_ _Not so Black and White_ _. I am going to try to finish that one first, but as the muse comes, I have to write it or lose it. By the way, 3000 words is so hard! But I promised it. And it's good to challenge myself. WARNING: CHAPTER CONTAINS TORTURE AND MINOR SEXUAL ASSAULT!_

 **Chapter One**

Hermione opened her eyes for the second time since being kidnapped, expecting a bright light, Inge perhaps pitch black, but instead found herself sitting in a chair in the middle of a dimly lit room. She wasn't bound or restrained in anyway. Not that it would have mattered. She was surrounded by a circle of death eaters. They wore no masks this time, instead stared at her with a mixture of contempt and...something she couldn't place. Her eyes met the one person she almost hoped she wouldn't see.

 _"Keep your mouth shut, Granger. Do not say anything or ask for anything. You are walking a fine line between living and dying."_

Professor Snape stared at her with a cold, blank look. Meeting his gaze brought goosebumps to her flesh and she looked away. She saw everyone she expected to see, Bellatrix, Lucius, Pettigrew, and two men who looked to be older versions of Crabbe and Goyle. She saw a face she didn't expect, Draco's cold stare drilling holes through her. Harry had been right. She almost didn't believe any of it from the previous year, but here it was in front of her face.

"I sssee the Mudblood hasss finally waken," a voice hissed from the corner. She knew it in the instant that her skin started to crawl. "You have my followerss quite the chasse, didn't you?"

She kept quiet and looked to her professor. She had no one else, and it him who said that she could survive.

"Sssseveruss, sshe iss your sstudent, iss sshe not?"

"Yes, my Lord. A useless know-it-all whose too eager to please."

"Asss her teacher, you should punish her for how much harder your friends had to work to capture her."

"Yes, My Lord."

He stepped into the circle and pulled Hermione up out of her chair and kicked it away before stepping back. He raised his wand at her and she searched for anything to tell her he wouldn't do it or that he was sorry. But his cold stare revealed nothing.

" _Crucio!_ "

Hermione's insides screamed out in pain, twisting and burning. She tried to hold back a scream but failed miserably. Laughter surrounded her as she cried out. The pain stopped and she crumpled to the floor.

She looked to her professor, and he was smirking at his fellow death eaters. He was proud. _'He's probably been wanting to do that for years,'_ she realized.

She took a painful breath and pulled herself up to a standing position. He shot daggers at her.

 _"Do not make things more difficult for yourself. Do not let out your silly Gryffindor tendencies."_

"I don't think sshe'ss learned her lesssson. Bella, help Sseverusss this time."

Hermione locked eyes with her professor, challenging him to do his worst.

Both of them raised their wands at her in unison and cast, " _Crucio!_ "

Her head felt like someone was smashing it into a bed of bricks. Her body felt like it was simultaneously being burned and hit by a bus. Her heart felt like it was breaking again. Everything was on fire and being broken.

She almost didn't realize that the spell casters had stopped as she curled up into a ball on the ground.

"I do believe she's learned her lessson."

She wanted to die. The pain was unbearable. After everything she had already been through, she couldn't stop the tears from flowing from her eyes.

"We made the poor little Mudblood cry," Bellatrix cheered. "Potter's filthy Mudblood friends is crying on the floor! Some Gryffindor you are!"

Hermione wanted to get up and fight. She desperately wanted to. But her whole body ached and her head hurt too much to concentrate. She was at their mercy.

"I've wanted one of you for sssssso long. Sssomeone I could use against Potter. And now I don't know what to do with you. We could keep you locked up," he stated as he began to walk around the circle. "We could torture you, maim you, _kill_ you. What ssay you Mudblood?"

Hermione stayed curled in her ball, refusing or unable to answer.

"I assked you a quesstion, Mudblood. _Imperio!_ "

Suddenly she felt funny. She felt far off, out of control. She was standing and couldn't figure out why.

"What would you have usss do with you?"

 _Answer me_ , a voice said inside her head. It was annoying, and she didn't want to, but her mouth opened anyway, "I'd rather you killed me!"

"Yessss, that has been the option I've been toying with the mosst. Why should I kill you?"

 _Answer me_.

She didn't have answer. Death did not frighten her the way they did. Harry would be devastated. But neither was why she gave that answer.

"I don't know."

"Sseverusss, didn't you say she was a know-it- _all_?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"It seems she's opened her mouth without an answer. Draco, punish her."

The fuzzy feeling disappeared and the pain hit her, causing her to stumble a little. Draco stepped forward, no where near as confident as her previous torturers. His wand was raised, but shaking. She raised herself and stood tall, meeting his gaze. She shot him a look, the same look she gave him before punching him in the nose. He cringed.

" _Cru-crucio._ "

She felt a small pain, like a gentle punch to the gut and laughed. She couldn't help it.

"Lucius, your son is a disappointment. You will have to train him better than that for when we face Potter. Rabastan, show Draco how it's done."

The man nodded and stepped forward. Hermione didn't have a moment to prepare before his wand was raised, " _Crucio!_ "

Immediately she fell to the ground, her skin burning and itching as if a million fire ants crawled and bit her. She'd never been Crucioed before then, and she realized that it was different every time a different person used it. She chose to focus on that knowledge, attempting to block out the pain, and it worked, but not enough.

The pain stopped and she slumped into the ground. She was exhausted and her entire body screamed at her.

"My Lord, it might be more beneficial to keep the girl alive and well," Severus spoke up.

"Sseveruss, are you questioning me?"

"No my Lord, but I have been teaching Potter for the last six years. If you keep her alive and well, possibly train her to be part of us. That would affect Potter the most."

"Hmmm, turn Potter'sss Mudblood against him? I like it Sseveruss. But how."

He began walking the circle at a quicker pace.

"Draco, she's your classmate, your age, you could have her."

Draco's body was shaking and he looked at her. She managed to stare back as he looked confused and frightened. She wasn't quite sure of what, and she wasn't capable of caring.

"My Lord, the boy has already been vested by her once before, took off crying after she punched him in the nose. You need someone who can control her."

"Like you, perhapssss?"

Hermione looked at Severus, who was looking at her with indifference.

"Well my Lord, she is a very powerful and brilliant witch despite her blood status. Besides I've held her respect, whether or not she'll admit it, for years. I stand a better chance than the boy."

"I'm not a boy anymore," Draco died, defending himself.

"Oh calm yourself, Draco," Severus lectured. "Do you really want to be settled down already boy?"

"I-not with her!"

"That's what I thought."

Dolohov stepped forward, "My Lord, I'll make the girl bend to your will. I could use an heir. She'd be a perfect breeder."

Hermione's stomach twisted at the thought and used her eyes to beg Severus to protect her.

 _"I will do what I can to protect you. But I can only do so much."_

 _"Why are you telling me this? Why would you help me?"_

 _"Because I take my oaths seriously. And I vowed to take care of Potter. I cannot do that from where I am. But protecting you is a part of that. So I shall protect you."_

 _"But you hate me."_

 _"Contrary to popular belief, I do not hate all of my students."_

"Dolohov, back off, I believe I have already expressed my interests."

"Gentlemen, fighting over a Mudblood isss sso pathetic. Jusst duel it out and be done with it."

Severus and Dolohov faced each other leaving Hermione lying on the ground in the middle of their duel. They bowed to each other.

"On the count of three," Voldemort started. "One, two, three!"

" _Sectumsempra!_ "

" _Diffindo!_ "

Dolohov's severing curse just barely missed as he cried out in pain from the wounds caused by Severus' curse. Blood pooled under the robes and Dolohov cursed.

"It would appear that Severus has won. We'll celebrate in a few days. Severus, return your _prize_ to the dungeon. You might as well explain what her life is going to be like now."

"Yes, my Lord."

Severus walked over and picked Hermione up by the back of shirt, pushing her roughly. Her legs felt like jelly and she stumbled more than once. She almost fell down the stairs but managed to catch herself with the railing and when they finally reached the dungeon, she shoved her into the corner she has first woken up in.

"I told you not to let your Gryffindor pride show."

"You also told me not to speak," she tried to shoot back, but it came out far weaker than she intended.

He walked over and pulled her up by her shirt one more.

"Is this how you thank someone who has ensured that you will live? I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour. Do you understand what was just agreed to up there?"

She glared at him.

"You are going to be my wife. You will be taught how to use the dark arts, and you will be expected to use them. You will perform _any_ and _all_ wifely duties."

"Then kill me now, I'd rather die than marry you."

He pushed her up against the wall, his anger apparent.

"You don't have a choice now Granger. You will cooperate or both of our lives will be at stake."

"I don't care. I'd rather rot down here and be tortured than marry you. I'd rather face all of that again then so much as kiss you."

"Is that really how you feel?"

"Yes."

"We'll see about that."

He pressed his lips against hers, hard, pushing her harder into the wall. He forced her lips apart and his tongue found it's way into her mouth. She tried to struggle against him but was too weak from the events earlier.

But a part of her body betrayed her, igniting a small fire somewhere in her core. She was thankful when he pulled away.

"Don't ever do that again," she growled.

"What part of my explanation did you not understand? You'll be doing a lot more than just kissing me, Miss Granger. I will be doing more than just kissing you."

As if to add emphasis to his point, he forcefully cupped her breast in his hand.

Tears began to fall down her face.

"What's the matter, Miss Granger?"

"Please, please just stop."

"No. You need to understand what I'm telling you."

He grabbed her hand with his and forced her to feel him. Then he kissed her again, trapping her hand between him and her own body, pressing harder into her hand, squeezing her breast, groping it roughly.

"P-please, stop," she managed again through the kiss.

And he did, letting go of her entirely. She let herself fall to the floor and curled up in the corner.

"Miss Granger, this can go one of two ways. You can cooperate and do as your told when necessary and I will protect you and do my best to make life as easy as out can be given the situation. Or you can fight it and you have many more nights like this, only much worse. You would be wise to think on it."

A sob racked her body, bringing on a cry of pain. Severus reached into his robes and handed her a vial.

"Drink that. It will help with the pain."

And then he was gone and she was left in the dark yet again.

Her body begged for mercy from the pain so she reached out and grabbed the vial, desperate for a release from the suffering. She drank the liquid without a second thought. Her eyes became heavy and she realized it was a simple seamless sleep potion. She'd sleep through the pain.

* * *

Severus arrived at his home at Spinner's end and immediately punched the wall in his bedroom.

He was in far too deep. He hated himself for doing that to her, but he didn't have a choice. Curse that bloody sod Dumbledore. Severus had no way of backing out of the death eaters. No way to prove that he was truly on Potter's side, no matter how he felt about the boy.

Now he had agreed to take on a bride. He'd never had that intention. But it was going to be forced.

His own body betrayed him, reacting the way it had to her. The idea of the things he would have to do to get set him on edge. But it was better than Dolohov. Dolohov would have rejoiced at her screams. Why had Dolohov even stepped forward? What interest had he had?

It didn't matter now, he had won. And now he had to marry her.

* * *

Hermione wasn't sure how long she was in the dungeon but she found herself wakened by someonr grabbing her arm and pulling her to her feet.

"Come on, Miss Granger."

It was Severus. Her stomach flip-flopped, unsure of whether or not it would be a good thing. She was taken upstairs to the same room she had seen previously. This time it was well lit and she saw that it was a grand ballroom.

Severus however kept waking, dragging her along. They went up another set of stairs.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Just keep quiet. You'll find out shortly enough."

"Please, just tell me. How long have I even been here? A day? A week?"

He stopped and pushed her against a wall, whispering, "Keep quiet. I've told you once. If you keep disobeying me, you'll end up in the hands of someone else. I am your best bet."

"Just answer one question. Please."

"You've been here for five days. You've been in and out of sleep, I don't expect you to remember most of it. Now follow me and stay quiet."

He pulled her away from the wall and kept walking. She followed along silently, mostly too tired to fight. She was terrified and calm all at the same time. She had made her decision the second she agreed to follow his original plan. The idea of death scared her more than he did, and the idea of the other death eaters scared her more than death.

She followed Severus down a series of hallways to a small room. He opened the door to a room with a single bed and an adjoining bathroom.

"You'll stay in here until someone comes for you. Clean yourself, I don't expect a long wait."

She nodded and stepped into the room and he closed the door almost immediately. She heard the click of the lock and her heart sank. She truly had no hope of getting out of there. She missed her wand. After a moment she headed towards the bathroom, closing that for as well in case anyone walked in. Five days of dirt and grime stuck to her body and she wanted it gone.

The hot water sung her skin and she didn't care. The dungeon had been so cold that she felt chilled to the bones and she hoped the water would be able to warm her back up. The shampoo and soap all smelled of sweet mint and lemon. It reminded her of home and she had to push the thoughts away before she broke down in tears.

She wasn't sure how long she was in the shower, the wonderful thing about the wizarding world was that the water stayed warm for so much longer. As it began to cool she turned off the water and wrapped a towel around herself.

She stepped out of the bathroom still only in her towel to see a tray of food sitting on a small table in the corner of the room. She walked over to it, find a note in her professors handwriting.

 _Miss Granger,_

 _Eat, you'll be needing your strength. Do exactly as you're told. She'll be kind to you._

 _Severus_

Hermione looked at the plate of food. Spaghetti, some bread and salad. Her stomach growled as she finally noticed the smell. Knowing she had nothing else to do, she sat down and ate in silence.

She was terrified of whatever fate awaited her. She was terrified of the idea that was stuck in her head. She knew what marriage meant. And she knew exactly what it would mean for her.

As she finished her meal, a knock came at the door before the lock clocked and it opened. Narcissa walked in, a large white mass of fabric draped over her arm. Hermione used the napkin the wipe her mouth and stood up but did nothing.

"Hermione, I'm going to help you get ready. You'll need to be brave and strong. It's going to be a difficult day for you. Now, we must hurry."

"What is going to happen to me?"

"Did Severus not tell you?"

"I-I-"

"It's fine. He might have had an idea but it was only just decided. You know Severus never married. They've decided that the best way to make you stay under control was to have you marry him."

Her stomach dropped and tears formed in her eyes.

"We have to hurry. There not much time to get you dressed."


	3. Chapter Two

_**A/N:**_ _Hi lovely readers, once ffn is working and let's us see our reviews, I will be responding to you. I like this challenge of 3k, even if I complain about it. It's a good thing. Also: WARNING CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL ASSAULT, AND RAPE (if you think the warnings are unnecessary I might stop them, given how much I've said how much darker this version will be, but still...) the next chapter will not have any if the dark stuff. Also, I've put in a plot element that I think is going to play to this story in an interesting way._

 **Chapter Two**

Hermione sat, turned away from the only mirror in the room as Narcissa brushed her hair. She was still only wearing the towel and fidgeted with the corner of the towel. She had no idea how to feel about the fact that she was about to be married. She knew she should normally be happy, but the circumstances were far from normal. Not only was she being forced into marriage, but it was too her professor, a man whom had tormented her for the last six years. And she was going to be turned against Harry, or they wanted her to.

"What is Draco like at school?" Narcissa asked as she began parting Hermione's hair.

Hermione almost didn't recognize that she had been asked a question. And then when she did, she wasn't sure how to answer it. "He's good competition. Right behind me in grades."

"No, I mean, how does he behave?"

Hermione sighed. She wasn't sure that she should answer the question, but she needed to focus on something else. "He's, I guess it depends on who he's around. With his friends he's incredibly confident, cocky would be more accurate. Harry gets under his skin. I think he's jealous of Harry. Or in love with him," she laughed at the thought. "My parents always said that when a boy teases you, it means he likes you. He calls me...I'm the filthy little Mudblood. Ron is his favorite to pick on though. He takes joy in his superiority to Ron."

Narcissa sighed. "I tried to teach him to be polite, but I'm afraid he didn't pick up too many of those traits."

Hermione stayed silent, wishing desperately for at least a book to read.

"Severus is a good man. I know you don't think much of us, but he is a good man. And many people wouldn't be after the things he's been through."

"You think I should be happy about being kidnapped, held against my will, tortured, and being forced to marry my teachers?"

"No, but I don't think you should give up. Draco never stops talking about stubborn you three are."

Hermione kept quiet. She didn't have anything more she could say. She didn't have the strength to fight anyone right now. Instead she continued to focus on the corner of the towel as her head was jerked gently by Narcissa's slender fingers.

Hermione found a sudden need to know what exactly would happen. She had never attended a wedding in the wizarding world and most certainly had never attended any even held by death eaters.

"What," she started, pausing to decide if she really wanted to know, "what can I expect tonight?"

Narcissa sighed as she placed pins in Hermione's hair. "Well, I'm sure you know, my marriage was arranged. I was lucky, Lucius had to court me first and in the end we did grow to live each other. But it's very terrifying. And magical, not just in the literal sense. There's something about promising to be with someone for the rest of your life that affects your very soul."

"This is a little bit different from your wedding though."

"No it's not. Our wedding too was arranged by The Dark Lord. I think this might be more of a spectacle, but it will be very similar," she corrected as she finished with Hermione's hair. "Oh shoot, I forgot the makeup bag. I'll be right back, do _not_ touch your hair."

Hermione nodded and stood up and walked over to the mirror as soon as she heard the lock click. Her hair looked lovely, pinned back and falling in gentle waves. If it weren't for the circumstances, she would be ecstatic about how lovely it looked.

What she didn't notice was the clock of the door opening until the famille voice spoke, "Well if it isn't Potter's filthy little Mudblood."

She turned around, the towel almost flirting open until she clutched it tight to her body.

"Wh-what are you doing in here?"

"Wh-what are you doing in here?" he mimicked coldly. "Isn't it obvious? I was given a task to punish you and I haven't fulfilled my duty."

He crossed the room quickly and tugged the towel. She struggled to keep it on, and in the end lost. She stood naked in front of her classmate and filled with rage. She tried to punch him for the second time in her life, but this time he caught her hand.

"What's the matter, Granger? Embarrassed?"

He reached out and squeezed one of her breasts hard. She cried out and tried to pull away.

"I always wondered what that would be-"

"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY!"

Narcissa's furious declaration started both of them, causing Draco to let go of Hermione, and she immediately picked up the discarded towel to cover herself.

"I know that I raised you better than that. You were given explicit orders to _stay away_ from her. Get out of here. You'll be lucky if I don't tell your godfather about this. He'll have every right to punish you."

The boy, having lost all of his confidence, ran out of the room.

"Are you okay?"

Hermione shot the woman a glare, using her eyes to answer. She was done. Done with everything.

"You said we didn't have much time, perhaps we should finish in here."

Narcissa nodded and walked over, gesturing for Hermione to sit back in the chair. She did so grudgingly and closed her eyes. Narcissa had a gentle touch as she applied the make up to Hermione's face. Occasionally the touch caused her to jump back slightly.

"Okay, time to get dressed."

Narcissa walked over the bed and picked up the gown. Hermione stood but held the towel close to her.

"Hermione, you're going to have to lose the towel. I know this is hard, but I promise the dress will be an improvement."

Hermione paused and then let the towel drop.

"Hands up," Narcissa commanded as she lifted the gown to go over Hermione's head.

It settled on her nicely, even more so as Narcissa tightened the built in corset. The gown was snow white with silver embroidery and intricate beadwork.

"All done."

Hermione looked in the mirror and almost didn't recognize the woman staring back at her. Beautiful, yes, but small and meek. She'd take back being plain if she could get back her confidence and her freedom.

Narcissa placed a pair of white held on the ground and Hermione lifted the dress so she could step into them.

Just then the door swung open, revealing a far too insane Bellatrix. Hermione couldn't tell if the woman was pleased with the situation or disgusted.

"Is the Mudblood ready?" Bella sneered looking at Hermione. "She almost looks pretty. You've out done yourself, Cissy. Come, it's time to prepare her for the ceremony."

* * *

Severus stood in the room that was his when they started at the manor for a few days. His heart pounded in his chest. He never imagined marrying anyone other than Lily, and once she was married, he knew that chance was gone. But he certainly never imagined marrying one of his students. Especially not Granger.

He was angry with himself and embarrassed for the way he had treated her in the dungeon the other day. He wouldn't have done it if they weren't at Malfoy's home. He couldn't do anything to ease Hermione as long as they were here.

His stomach turned at the thoughts of what he would have to do to her tonight. He hated Dumbledore for forcing him to play both sides and he hated him for making him kill him. It was a daily struggle.

He jumped when someone knocked at the door. After composing himself, he opened it to see Dolohov grinning at him.

"Does something entertain you, Dolohov?" Severus angered, sterling out of the room.

"No, happy for a _friend_. Nothing more, nothing less."

Severus rolled his eyes as they walked down the hall.

"Are you excited to take her tonight? I bet she's a virgin."

Severus' stomach sank, he hadn't given it much thought. Of course he never thought about his students' sex lives. But he hadn't stopped to think about her now that he knew her fate.

"It's trivial."

"But doesn't the thought just arose you? Her screams? Oh man, doesn't just the thought of perfectly round breasts make you hard?"

Dolohov had always been vulgar, and it seemed to be especially true today. "Dolohov, I'd appreciate you not talking about my bride in such a way. Would you talk about Narcissa like that in front of Lucius?"

"Fair enough. I should find myself a wife, lay her every night, whether she wanted it or not."

Severus bit his tongue. Dolohov was a monster. He often sickened Severus to his stomach at his pleasure in torturing young girls.

"I saw something you might care to know," Dolohov stated coolly.

"What would that be?"

"Draco was her room and Narcissa left, Draco snuck in."

Severus grew angry. That stupid boy was always getting his courage at the wrong time. It was no wonder he wasn't a Gryffindor.

"Do me a favor, Dolohov. Keep your mouth shut for the remainder of this walk."

* * *

Hermione stood alone at the base of the stairs, waiting for...She wasn't sure what. Narcissa and Bellatrix had told her not to move. It wasn't like she had anywhere to go. She could see the door, but if she tried running, it would be a miserable failure. Instead she took to paving back and forth a small length of the hall.

Finally Narcissa had returned.

"When the music starts, and those doors open, you'll have to enter. Be strong."

Then she was gone once more. Hermione wasn't ready to walk into a room of death eaters while they watched her marry her potions professor and tormenter of six years. But she didn't have a choice.

The doors opened and music spilled out of them. Her cue. Her heart and stomach dropped and she faltered as she took a step.

 _'Pull yourself together, Hermione. You're a Gryffindor. You may not have any power or control of the situation, but you can control how you present yourself. Remind them that you are a brave and powerful witch!'_ She thought to herself.

She took a deep breath, stood up straight, and walked through the doors. Death eaters stood on each side, watching her. Some smiled evil grins others stared at her in disgust. Her stomach was twisting and flipping. She hadn't gotten the nerve to look at Severus yet so she used the sight of his shoes to tell her where to stop. His hand reached out and he used a finger to lift her chin until her eyes met his.

Of course instead of any comfort, she was met with his usual icy stare, so instead she turned to the man officiating.

"We are gathered here today, to join this witch and wizard in matrimony. Please, join hands."

Severus held his left hand out, palm up, waiting for her. She sighed, at this point she didn't have anything else she could do. She placed her left hand over his and wrapped her fingers around his wrist and he did the same.

The officiant looked at Hermione and raised his wand. " _Colligatum_. Do you, Hermione Jean Granger, take this man to be your husband? To care for him in sickness and in health? To be loyal to him and only him? To perform your wifely duties in home and family?"

Her heart pounded and she met Severus' eye. Could she promise all of those things. It didn't matter, she had to. "I do."

A rope like light wrapped around their wrists and tightened. Severus rotated their hands so that his was now the one on top.

"Severus Tobias Snape, do you take this woman to be your wife? To care for her in sickness and in health? To protect at all costs? And to be loyal to her and only her unless otherwise commanded by your Lord?"

"I do."

Another light wrapped around their wrists and the two twisted together. They tightened and began glowing, turning a bright pure white. Hermione had to squint as the light burned her eyes. Her hand burned as the ropes tightened and then they were gone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you have just witnessed two soul mates be bonded. With their views they are bonded and officially married. You may kiss your bride."

Severus pulled her closer using the hand he still held, and kissed her. It was quick and insincere, but Hermione was sick on what had been said.

 _'Soul mates?'_

* * *

Severus held Hermione as they danced their first dance. He himself was surprised at the revelation of earlier. This girl was his soul mate. Fate sure was a twisted lady. Hermione seemed to be taking the news badly. He wished that there was something he could do to make today less traumatic for her, unfortunately he knew the opposite would be true.

The song ended and Hermione stepped away from him.

"I-I'm going to get something to drink," she stammered, looking for an excuse to get away from him.

"Sseverusss, that wasss a very interesssting development. You'll have to woo her," Voldemort said as he walked up behind Severus. "Two Ssoulmatesss bonding alone isn't enough to bring out the power. You'll have to have be together with complete conssent."

"Of course my Lord."

"I sssuggesst that you complete the bonding however. Everyone elsse has sssettled into the evenings festivitiess."

"Yes, my Lord."

Severus took off to find his wife, but a quick glance around the ballroom told him that she was not in the room. He swiftly made his way to the door and found her sitting on the floor, tears running down her face.

"Get up or you'll ruin that dress."

She looked at him, defeated and angry all at once. "I don't care."

"Hermione, I am sorry about these circumstances. But I need you to be brave for just a little longer and then I can take you home and we can discuss things that need to be discussed."

She hid her face in her arms and cried.

"Hermione, you can either go back in there with me willingly or I can imperious you and force you in there."

"What's going to happen?" She asked.

"We're going to do the last thing we need to and then I am taking you to my-our home."

She stood up and looked at him. He wasn't sure if she understood what was about to happen.

Fortunately his colleagues were all interested in other _activities_. He led Hermione over a chaise in the corner. He felt eyes on them and made eye contact with Voldemort. If he didn't do this soon, he'd be in trouble.

"Hermione, I'm sorry about this," he whispered as he pushed her back onto the chaise and lifted the skirt of her gown to her waist.

Her eyes grew wide in fear and her instincts made her try to hit him away, but he caught them and held them down with only one hand as he used the other to undo his britches. She was crying and it sickened him, but he didn't have a choice.

 _'Voluptatem et Protege.'_ Severus cast wandlessly and nonverbally.

Hermione felt the effects immediately, though she didn't understand. Her body reacted to him as if she were in love with him and as if he had seduced her. Now of it fit. She was still struggling against him as he found her entrance and thrust into her. She gasped, and where she expected to feel pain, she felt pleasure. Her body begged for more despite her own protests. He held her firmly in place as his thrusts became quicker and more forceful. Each thrust caused her body to beg for more and she couldn't suppress the moans as they escaped. Her body tightened around him, building up a pressure that was almost impossible to bear.

Something inside her burst, the pressure released and she cried out. Severus moaned and pulled her tighter to him. Several around them cheered out, embarrassing Hermione even more.

And then the moment was gone. He was off of her and he fixed her dress before buttoning his britches.

She had started crying again, profusely, and he knew he needed to get her out of there. Thankful that he had been given permission to take her home after their marriage was completely official. He pulled Hermione up off the couch and pulled her along behind him as they exited the ballroom. He led her down the path to the gate.

Once they reached it, he scooped her up into his arms and disaparated. They landed in an alley on Spinner's End and he stepped out and walked towards his home. He spelled the door open and carried Hermione over the threshold. She struggled against him still, but she was exhausted. He set her down once they were inside and the door was closed.

"Hermione, I am deeply sorry for everything that happened today. I cannot fully explain why things are the way they are, but I assure you that I mean you no harm."

"It's not like it matters. He'll command it and you'll listen."

"Hermione, I realize that the events are difficult, but you can't give up. I realize that you have a lot you need to think over and digest. I have a room prepared for you, if you would like to change and get some rest."

She only nodded. He reached out for her hand, but she retracted it so he simply turned her towards the stairs and then gestured to the open door.

The room itself was plain, a bed, a dresser and a closet with an adjoining bathroom.

"This is your room. There's clothes in the closet and the dresser, including pyjamas. I'll be back in the morning."

She stepped into the room and he closed it behind her, locking it.


	4. Chapter Three

_**A/N**_ _: Hi readers, in case you don't read Not so Black and White, I've decided to alternate updates. So I can work on both stories. But I'm also in Quidditch League so I'll put those prompts first...I am captain after all, have to be a good example. But I'm hoping to do regular updating. We'll see, I still refuse to promise it, but I'm going to promise to try. I hope you enjoy as we see some of the ramifications of the wedding._

 **Chapter Three**

Severus had woken early the next morning. He felt disgusted with himself he recalled the previous days events. She was his student for crying out loud. Still, he already felt the connection they had taking its hold on him. He always imagined that his soul mate was Lily. And here he was, married to a student who had proven him wrong.

He felt sorry for her more than anything. Sorry that the poor girl was tied to him against her will. And she would never have a choice about it. Not that he did either. He was perfectly happy to die alone with no bonds. It was a fate he long accepted. Now he had a wife, a soul mate, and anything could happen over the next several months. He only hoped that she wouldn't get attached.

* * *

Hermione woke up, momentarily forgetting the events of the last week and panicked. She did not recognize where she was and couldn't remember how she had come to be there. Then as she sat up, it all flooded back to her and she began sobbing. Not only were her parents probably half way around the world at this point with absolutely no memory of her, but she had been kidnapped, married to her professor who was also apparently her soul mate, and raped in a public setting. Her body tremored with the sobs.

When she heard the knock at the door to the bedroom, her first instinct was to hide under the covers. And she did, pulling them tight around her. The comforter muffled the sound, but she still heard the door open. Then she felt someone sit on the very edge of the bed. Her heart raced in fear.

"Miss Gran-Hermione, I know you're awake," Severus said, his voice calm and uncharacteristically gentle. Still Hermione refused to move. "I would like to discuss some things with you. Things that we really do need to talk about."

Fresh tears flowed from her eyes and her body was racked with another sob. She felt the blanket above her depress as he placed his hand there. She couldn't help it, she screamed and kicked and hit the blanket away, causing him to stand up and step back. With the blanket gone, she could see him through her frizzy hair. Fear, panic, anger, and depression all flowed through her at once.

"I've got breakfast mostly ready," he stated. "Come and join me."

"No thank you," she said, finally finding a bit of fighting power.

He sighed and looked at her sternly. "You will join me for breakfast. I could make you do it. So you either do it off your own free will, or mine."

Either way, she knew she didn't have a choice. She got up from the bed, making sure to be on the opposite side of Severus and walked around as he stepped out of the room. He reached for her hand and she flinched back, waiting for him to move.

Severus understood her reaction and began walking down the stairs. He heard her steps behind him and felt relief that she was cooperating. He had no desire to imperius her. As they passed the front door and he neared the hallway leading towards the kitchen, he heard the front door being opened.

"You needn't bother," he started without looking at her, "I've put barriers to prevent you from leaving."

Hermione looked at him and out the door. She could see her from just beyond the barrier, but the fact that he hadn't aparated straight into his own house, told her that he wasn't lying. But still, she couldn't help the finger that reached out. Her finger pressed against an invisible barrier and her heart sank. She closed the door and grudgingly followed behind her professor.

"Take a seat. How do you like your eggs?"

He still wasn't looking at her, and she felt relieved. She couldn't stand to look at him and didn't care to have him looking at her. Instead she focused on his hands as they picked up a pan and set it on the stove.

"How do you like your eggs?" He repeated.

"Um, scrambled," she said, just above a whisper. She worried that he hadn't heard her until he cracked the eggs into a small bowl.

Severus focused on whisking as he gathered his own thoughts. There were so many things that they needed to discuss and so many things that he felt awful about. He focused on the cooking as she at at the table in silence.

Hermione looked around the kitchen, aside from her own room, it was the only area she'd seen of the house that didn't look...filthy. She knew her professor had never been known for anything cleanly except for in potions. She felt disturbed to be living here. But she was trapped.

She jumped a little as he sweet a plate down in from of her and then took the seat on the opposite side of the table. She kept her head down and stared at the plate in front of her. Scrabble eggs, just like she had asked, bacon, and buttered toast. He had also placed a glass of Orange juice down by her plate.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I am deeply sorry about yesterday. I know that you have no reason to trust me, but I shall not hurt you again as long as I can avoid it. That is why I did what I could to help the situation last night."

"What did you do last night?" She asked, still only staring at her plate of food.

"I cast a pleasure and protection charm. I did not want you to suffer the pain. And I did not want you to face any additional consequences of last night."

"Oh." She finally picked up her fork and it hovered above the eggs as she debated whether or not she wanted to eat.

"Hermione, none of this is fair to you. Being forced to marry me, finding out we're soul mates. I didn't ask for any of it either. But I'm going to protect you to the best of my ability. I just need you to promise that you will listen to me when I ask you to do something. If you come off obediently, they will begin to trust you or at the very least, not want to torture you."

Hermione finally took a bite of the eggs, and found she enjoyed the taste. She wasn't sure why it shocked her that he could cook, but it did.

"Please say something," he asked softly. "I know that you of all people have a million thoughts running through your mind."

She did have a million thoughts running through her mind. But she couldn't piece them together. She had a million questions and was too afraid to ask for answers. "I should be happy, because I have found my soul mate and I've married him. But I can't be badly because none of it was voice, I was kidnapped and raped very publicly. I don't know where to start on how I feel. I'm furious and depressed and terrified all at once."

Severus nodded. He understood why she felt of that. "Why don't you just pick an event, and we can discuss it."

Hermione scoffed. As if she could discuss any of the effects with him. She needed a therapist, or at the very least, a friend.

"You keep flinching when I move even to touch your hand. You're afraid of me. That I'm going to hurt you."

It wasn't a question, she knew that he was sure of it and he was right. She nodded.

"And that is because of last night and what happened several nights ago."

She had almost completely forgotten about that event. But still she nodded again, eating in silence.

"I swear I will never touch you like that again, not unless it is with your consent. They will have to imperius me."

"Why?"

"You think I enjoyed doing that? I'm a private man. And I don't like that your first experience was like that."

Hermione almost laughed until memories flooded her and instead she wanted to cry. "I'm not a virgin professor. I haven't been for quite some time."

Severus almost choked on his food. After he regained his composure he responded, "That's still not how I would have liked our first time, forced or not."

"Our first time would never have happened if I hadn't been kidnapped."

"That is probably true."

They both sat in silence for moment, eating their breakfast.

"What does it mean to be soul mates in the wizarding world?" Hermione asked. It was something she had never seen, but was clearly important.

"It's a very strong bond. There are ways of knowing before a bonding ceremony, but usually over time. And the first time two soul mates code together they find a permanent increase in their power."

"Then why don't we?"

"It has to be completely consensual and uninhibited. Nothing to cloud their decision."

"Vol-"

"Don't say his name. You need to be practised to show him the respect he expects."

She rolled her eyes and continued, "He expects us to do that, because he wants the power on his side."

"Yes."

"It's never going to happen."

Severus sighed. A part of him hurt that she would say it, but he understood and even felt the same way himself.

"I can accept that."

an owl tapped incessantly at the kitchen window and Severus got up to let the owl in. A familiar red envelope fell from its clutches and sprang to life.

"Hermione Jean Snape nee Granger,

You are hereby ordered to attend a trial at the Ministry of Magic tomorrow at 12 O'clock pm. You are on trial for violating Wizengmont Law 3,321 article 1 subsection 3. If you are found guilty, you will be expelled from Hogwarts and spend 17 to life in Azkaban. Have a lovely rest of of your day. Mathilda Smith, Head of the Wizarding Healthcare Department."

Hermione was stuck, she couldn't breath and her heart pounded away furiously.

"Hermione, when did you have an abortion."

She couldn't hear anything past the blood rushing through her ears. _I watched him fill out the paperwork. Out was right. There shouldn't be any problems._

"I asked you a question and I expect an answer," Severus commanded. He himself was shocked that this had happened.

She tried to hold back the tears, and felt more angry at him than ever. "The day I was kidnapped. They got me as I left St. Mungo's!"

She took off and ran for her room, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Severus knew that he couldn't approach her. It was clear this had wounded her terribly. Instead he decided to look into the matter before getting her story.

And so he found himself in the waiting room at St. Mungo's.

"Mr. Snape?"

Severus stood up and walked over to a fairly scrawny man. "Hi, I'm Dr. Pomfrey. I heard you're looking to access your wife's medical records?"

"Pomfrey? Are you related to Poppy?"

"Oh, yea, my sister. You must be the professor she talks about that's grumpy."

Severus glowered. "Yes, whatever. I need to access the records of my wife."

"I just met with Miss Granger a few days ago and she wasn't married," the man eyed Severus with a suspicious glance.

"It's very recent. We were married yesterday, a quiet ceremony. We didn't tell a lot of people."

"I did check into it, and it seems legitimate. I guess I'm just hoping this doesn't ruin your marriage."

"Trust me, it won't."

"Follow me."

Severus did as he was told, following the man into a private office.

"Now, I assume that your hear about her abortion. The ministry came by adding for the paperwork already."

"Yes, I need whatever information you have on it. She is very distraught."

"Rightfully so. She came to me earlier this week for the test itself. She had taken a home test and came in for a confirmation. She wasn't sure about how far she might be so we did an ultrasound. It was tubal with fraternal twins. And unfortunately there wasn't any other choice. She would have died if she carried to term and if she carried much longer she would have lost all reproductive ability."

"How did she take the news?"

"Not well at all. She wasn't enthused at being a mother so young, but the idea that she couldn't carry to term crushed her."

"Would you be willing to appear in court tomorrow?"

"Without a doubt."

"I'll also need a copy of any and all paperwork you filed."

* * *

Severus returned to Spinner's end, paperwork in hand, prepared to talk with Hermione about whatever needed to be said. He placed the files on the desk in his study and then headed upstairs.

He knocked on her door and then opened it slowly.

"Go away," she said from the corner she sat in. Her knees were pulled up to chest and her face was buried in her arms.

"Hermione, we need to talk."

"I didn't break the law," she mumbled, "Everything was filed."

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "I know Hermione. And I'm going to make sure that this is dealt with. But I need you to tell me what happened."

"How do you know?"

Severus sighed, Merlin she was only going to have more reason to hate him. "As your husband I have the right to access your medical files."

She sobbed a little, "Then why do you need to know."

"Because you should talk about it."

Hermione hiccupped through her tears. "Ron and I started dating secretly just before the battle on the astronomy tower. And we...we decided that it would be a good idea. He told me that I was his first, but then Lavender started talking about when she and Ron had and so I broke up with him. I felt so stupid for believing him. And then I started getting sick and..."

She couldn't finish, and she didn't need to. He knew exactly what happened from there.

"Hermione, get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day. If it would help, I have some vials of dreamless sleep potion."

She shook her head as she got up. She knew that she should have felt gross going to bed in the pajamas that she had written all day, but it was the least of her worries.

Severus moved to leave her alone, "No!" She exclaimed without understanding why. "Please, could you just wait until I call asleep." She had no idea why she felt the need to have him there at all, but she did.

"Hermione are you sure?" He didn't want to force anything on her, and he knew she was already wary of his presence.

"No," she admitted, "but I don't want to be alone."

"Okay then."

She crawled into bed and rolled up into a ball under the covers, her heart and soul aching. Severus took a seat awkwardly on the edge of her bed, trying to keep his distance.

"Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you being so kind?"

"I don't know."

"What else comes with finding your soul mate?"

"From what I've been told, it depends on the relationship. Usually you can't discover your soul mate until after you've come of age, which explains why we never even felt any signs of it before. Being apart is extremely difficult, for some couples it's even excruciating. Their children are often extremely powerful to match the power of their parents."

"What about soul mates who started off as enemies?"

"It's complicated. Eventually it seems they fall in love."

"Fifth year me would be ecstatic," Hermione mumbled as sleep drew nearer.

"What do you mean?" He asked, wondering if she wasn't just exhausted from the day.

"In fifth year," she stopped to yawn, "I had a schoolgirl crush. I just started doodling your name on stuff. I burned most of it. And then one day I hated you again."

Severus remained quiet. He never thought of himself as a schoolgirl crush-worthy teacher.

"Hermione, I think you should mentally prepare yourself for tomorrow's outcome. Even if they don't find you guilty, there will be consequences."

Be hard her mumbled but when he looked at her it was pretty clear that she had fallen asleep.

He stood up and left her alone to her dreams.

He couldn't sleep yet himself so he went to the kitchen and pulled out a few ingredients. He had a secret love of baking. Much like brewing, the process was calming, only the outcomes were a bit more satisfying. His goal was to make something that would at least be relaxing after the day coming.

As he cracked the eggs, he thought about what he knew about the ministry. They were famous for punishing people even when they were found innocent. And in this case, he was more than certain he knew what that punishment would be.

They would certainly make them have children. After he promised that he wouldn't touch her again, he would be forced to break that promise. And he didn't want any children. He couldn't stand the idea of any children being forced to go through hell just for being connected to him. Merlin, Hermione deserved better. He almost wanted to let her go just to spare the both of them. But it would only worsen the situation. The Dark Lord had her in his clutches, and if she were lost, he'd freak out. He'd hunt her down and make everything fifty times worse. No, she was safest in his care.

He placed the finished product in the refrigerator and headed up to his own bed, hoping to protect her the following day. She wouldn't end up in Azkaban if he had anything to say about it. She would be safe from their tyranny.


	5. Chapter Four

_**A/N:**_ _Hi readers. I'm glad that you are all responding to this well. It makes me happy. For former readers, there a slight plot change here. I wanted it this way. Also I apologize about how long it took to get this one out. It was just difficult to get out. It was the first time around too._

 _I would like to address a guest who has stated that Severus is OOC, since I cannot respond personally. I am a firm believer in Severus' soft side, I'm not suggesting that he's entirely in character, simply that there is a side of him we never got a chance got to see. We never got to see him alone. And because we know in the end that he has a heart, some where that soft side is going to come out. But, this is also only four chapters in. There are events that will take place very soon and events that will happen later. I need to get these guys to do what I want them to for once. But also, this is MUCH darker than previously written. Anyway, I still am happy to hear you enjoy reading and I am done here. So story time!_

 **Chapter Four**

Severus woke long before he needed to. And he couldn't fall back asleep. It felt a curse to him, the entire situation. And yet, it he knew that his part was the easiest. He had long since mastered pushing people away. He knew in the end, he could push her away, no matter where the path that fate had for them led.

But the path they tread new would be hard. If it were any other woman, Gryffindor or not, Severus was sure they'd never be able to handle it. But Hermione was...different. She was strong and brilliant, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

Still, it seemed sleep would evade him for the time being. He got himself out of bed and found his way to the bathroom to shower.

* * *

Hermione had tossed and turned all night, plagued by nightmares every time she closed her eyes. What was worse was that she didn't understand them. She was terrified _of_ him, not of _losing_ him. Yet every time she closed her eyes, it was the same thing.

* * *

 _Hermione stood at the edge of the forbidden forest, watching, waiting. Fear racked her body, but she couldn't move. She couldn't run. She had to stay. She had to be there for him. Even as the chaos around her threatened her very existence, she waited._

 _Even as the acromantula crawled from beyond the trees, Hermione was stuck in one spot. As the centaurs rushed by her in a herd, she stood her ground. She should have been trampled, eastern, or hit by the numerous spells that were flying around. Yet everything bent around her._

 _Then suddenly, she was walking, turning away from the forest. She walked in between duels and curses. She walked under the acromantula as they leapt for their prey and she walked past arrows shot by the centaurs._

 _Her friends and classmates fought around her, matched against death eaters. Many of the children she grew up with fell to the ground, never to get back up._

 _Yet she wasn't phased by any of it. It was like something else had taken control of her._

 _A few hundred yards in front of her the snake, Nagini. They locked eyes for a moment before the snake began slithering away. Hermione picked up her pace, following the snake down the winding path towards the Womping Willow. She didn't bother to duck as the branches swung at her and easily found her way into the tunnel._

 _The snake was no longer in sight, but she didn't need it anymore. She knew where she was going._

 _When she found herself inside the shrieking shack, everything stopped ignoring her existence._

 _"Sseverusss, your little mudblood has arrived."_

 _She doesn't know how, but she's in the middle of the room, Severus standing just behind her, Voldemort staring her down._

 _"I think it'sss time you gave her up. I'm going to kill her now." He raised his wand, meeting her gaze, she couldn't move again. "_ Avada Kedavra! _"_

 _Then she was on the ground, but it wasn't because of the spell, Severus had pulled her back and taken the spell himself. His lifeless body lay next to her and she cried. Her heart shattered. She was so busy crying over his death that she didn't notice the snake slithering closer until Nagini was striking._

* * *

Then she'd wake up, sweating. Why was she crying over him? Were her dreams trying to explain something to her?

Either way, it left her shaken, and she didn't sleep hardly at all. She woke feeling exhausted, but she refused to try and sleep anymore.

Instead she got out of the bed and went straight to the rest room, turning on the water for the bath. She needed to relax and the closest she figured she'd get was by taking a hot bath.

* * *

Severus heard the water running as he sat at the table in his kitchen. He had just finished a bowl of cereal and put it in the sink. Then he made his way upstairs, to his own room.

* * *

Hermione and Severus sat outside the court room in the Ministry. They sat a few feet away from each other in silence, though before they left, Severus had bound her powers so she wouldn't be able to escape. It had been a silent thirty minutes of waiting before the trial would start. The only sounds came from puerile passing by, staring confused at the couple.

And then clocks chimed noon and the doors opened. Hermione stood and took a seat in the chair at the center of the room. Severus followed in and stood behind her.

The minister filed into the room and prepared to speak.

"We are here today for the trial of Hermione Jean Snape for violating Wizengmont Law 3,321 article 1 subsection 3. Is it true that seven days ago you had a abortion without consent from the ministry?"

She looked up from her lap to face the ministry, . Tears forming in her eyes. This was supposed to be behind her. But instead it was coming back to haunt her. She took a breath, and tried to swallow the tears as she spoke, "I did."

"And is it true that the father had not been informed prior to the decision?"

"That is true."

"Thank you. Now, everyone who finds the defendant-"

Severus swept forward. "Hold on a moment. You did not give the woman a chance to defend herself."

"Very well, let her attempt to do so."

"As her husband, I will be laying out the defense, starting with a statement about why she had not told the father."

Hermione looked at him in confusion. What was he playing at? "She did tell me after the fact. She has not told me because I have made myself to be a man that prefers facts. When she went to St. Mungo's she had taken a test at home, but wanted a full confirmation. She told me after the fact and was extremely distraught about the event."

"So you are the father in question? Weren't you only married two days ago?"

"Yes. I am. For obvious reasons, our relationship has been kept under wraps. After what happened, we decided to get married, to make things easier when we were ready to start a family. But I am not on trial here and I have a witness to the event in question."

"Very well, bring them in. Mrs. Snape, please take a seat," the minister said while gesturing to the front row of seats.

She nodded and got up, still trying to stop the tears as they fell.

In Wales her doctor, confident and going straight to his seat.

"Dr. Pomphrey, it's it true that a well ago you received a visit from Hermione?"

"Yes."

"And can you tell us what happened?"

"She came in for a simple pregnancy test. There were a few red flags so we checked her womb and it appeared that it was tubal."

"So her health was at risk then?"

"If we let it continue, she would have died. As it was, she also could have lost all reproductive ability. See, it was fraternal twins, so both tubes would have been destroyed."

"And the consent form?"

"There want a lot of time for her to think anything over, I filled out the form for having performed an emergency one."

The minister stood up,"No such thing was done!"

Severus flicked his wand and a piece of paper floated up to the minister's face. "This document says otherwise. In fact, it even has a ministry stamp of approval on it."

The minister stumbled to find words.

"I think there is sufficient evidence to prove her innocence," Severus said, waving his hand as a final gesture.

The minister stood, "We shall take a vote. Those who find the defendant not guilty?"

Hermione looked in awe as a majority of the hands went up.

The minister was clearly upset.

"It would appear that you are cleared of charges. However, as the population in the wizarding world is small, and you are now married, we shall expect you to start your family immediately."

Hermione sobbed.

"Minister, clearly you can see how distraught this ideal has made my wide. Surely you do not think it wise for he to try beginning a family immediately."

He was trying to buy as much time as he could, there was no reason they should be forced together.

"You have a week. Then you _will_ start your family."

Hermione sobbed as everyone filed out of the room.

* * *

Severus placed a bowl of spaghetti on the table in front of Hermione. She hadn't said a word in the hours since they returned to Spinner's end. He himself hadn't said more than enough to get her to join him for dinner.

Her face was red and splotchy and reminded him of more than one occasion from her school years. That thought alone disturbed him.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. "Why did you lie to them?" Hermione finally asked, her voice quiet and weak.

Severus looked at her before going back to looking at the bowl on front of him. "It made things easier. If they were told the truth, they'd drag Mr. Weasley into it."

"Oh."

"And they would question our marriage. The Dark Lord has his spies and allies in the ministry, enough to keep me out of the hands of the Aurors."

"Oh."

They ate in silence once more until their bowls were empty. Hermione felt a need to do something other than sit so she got up from her seat and took her bowl to the sink. Then she turned on the water and grabbed the sponge and began cleaning.

Her hand guided the sponge in a circular motion around the bowl, watching as the water rinsed away the red blood-like sauce. But even after everything was gone, she continued to wipe the bowl down. She was lost and far away and needed the mindlessness of the task at hand.

"Hermione, the bowl is clean, you can stop."

But she didn't. She kept cleaning, applying more and more pressure to the bowl in her hand.

Severus stood and stepped towards her. "Hermione, stop, the bowl is clean."

Still she couldn't hear him, couldn't stop. Then the shattering of ceramic brought her out of her daze. Severus turned off the water and grabbed her hand. She hadn't noticed the sting of the cut, and when she realized that he was touching her, she tried to pull back.

"Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

He led her to the downstairs bathroom and turned on the sink, placing her bleeding hand under the flowing water. She pulled back, from the sting, and he held her hand there until she stopped fighting it. Then he opened the cabinet and pulled out a bandage and a salve.

Severus opened the salve and grabbed her hand. He died it off and then applied it gently before wrapping her hand.

"Be more careful," he lectured.

She nodded, her mouth open slightly.

He led her back to the kitchen and sat her down in the chair she had sat in previously and walked to the fridge. He pulled out the cake he had made the previous night and pulled two plates down from the cabinet and served them.

"Don't look so surprised. Baking is not that far off of potions."

She took a bite and couldn't hold back her smile at the pleasant taste."

"Perhaps we should talk. I cannot very well promise not to touch you again. We don't have a choice at this point. I realize that I have done things that have frightened you, but at this point, we are going to have to try to move past that. Of course, we could just use potions. I have several that can cause blackouts."

"NO!"

Severus was shocked at the vehemence in her tone. "May I ask why?"

"I-I-memories are important. They make up who we are. They affect our impressions on people. Memories have power."

"That's unusually wise for someone your age."

"There's a reason I'm called the brightest witch of my age," she snapped back.

"It's also a bitter subject for you. What happened?"

Hermione sighed and took a bite of the cake. "I will go to any lengths to protect the ones I love. So I erased my parents memories of my existence and I made them want a new life, far from here."

"That would be an incredibly difficult thing to do."

"It's done."

They returned to the silence once more. Their plates were soon empty. Severus grabbed the plates and set them into the sink for the time being.

In order to make things more comfortable for Hermione, Severus knew that she needed to feel at home, or at least as at home as she could given the circumstances. And he knew the best way to appease her.

"Hermione, follow me," he told her.

She looked up, and saw the usual scowl in his face telling her that she didn't have a choice. So she stood up and followed him. They walked down the hall in further silence until they reached a room.

"This is my library. As long as you treat the books correctly, as I'm sure you will, you may come in here anytime you wish."

Hermione's mouth dropped in awe. It wasn't the biggest library she had ever seen, not even the nicest, but it was unexpected. Many of the books were old and clearly valuable. She walked towards the shelves, a hand tentatively raised as she read the titles. Everything from muggle novels to potions texts and studies on dark magic.

She saw a novel that she had always loved, A Wrinkle in Time and took it off the shelf before making her way to the edge of the couch in the center of the room.

Severus gave her a moment to get comfortable before walking to the opposite side of the couch and picking up the on the end table next to it. It felt odd how almost normal they could appear to an outsider.

There was a certain pleasure to be found when reading silently with company. You had all the benefits of not being alone without having to communicate. The only noise aside from the near silent breaths was the partial turn of a page. It was relaxing and tranquil. Hermione felt herself actually relaxing for the first time in over a week. She almost felt terrified of it, but so far out seemed her professor actually cared a little bit. It was nothing she had ever seen in him before, and she couldn't be sure why he was showing her now, but inside a part of her was thankful.

She wasn't ready to give up yet. She'd find a moment and free herself from the prison she was in, but until such time, she had to learn to make the most of the situation. And she needed to get over her fear of being touched. Although Severus and Draco were the only men to have ever touched her against her will and roughly, even the thought of hugging her two best friends terrified her. And that held a power she had no desire to let either man keep.

* * *

Both of them had lost track of time, and Hermione had fallen asleep on the couch just as Severus' mark began to burn. He took her up to her room and locked the door, making sure that she was unable to attempt anything. Then he made his way to Malfoy Manor.

"Sseverusss, I'm so glad you could join usss," Voldemort greeted as Severus entered the dining room. "Where is your mudblood?"

"She is locked away in her room asleep. It was a long day to say the least."

"I am aware. And I wasss sshocked to hear that you asssked the minisstry for more time. I would have thought you'd take her immediately. I thought you would thank me for assssissting you."

"My Lord," Severus said with a bow, "of course I am grateful to your endeavours. And under normal circumstances I would have. However, as you told me, I need to make her be willing. She's already been kidnapped, tortured, assaulted, and raped in a very public setting. Even one week would not be enough to make a woman willing have sex with a man, though I am confident I could pull it off with her."

"Yesss, I ssupposse you're right. Asss a wedding gift to you, I'm giving you that week of total sssilence. You shall not be called here. But after that, I expect you to have completed thisss tassk."

"Yes, my Lord."

"And I expect to sssee some training of the dark artss. If sshe isss the witch everyone claimss, sshe sshould pick up the ssskill very quickly."

"Of course, my Lord."

"Then be gone, enjoy your _honeymoon_."

Severus bowed once more before leaving the room. He should have known the trial was instigated by one of their moles in the ministry. He should have realized it much sooner. He had always been a mysterious man, one who intervened in plots because of curiosity.

Severus shook his head as he left the manor. This was an impossible feat, yet he had to succeed. He had to make Hermione want him. She had to actually want it. And he would be lying if ssh he said he didn't. She was lovely note that she had grown. He could choose her. But could she chose him? Hermione had to choose to be with him or they would both suffer the consequences. He didn't particularly care to be punished for not managing to get a former student to sleep with him. Just the thought itself disturbed him. He never thought he'd be put in that situation. The thought had never even crossed his mind.


	6. Hiatus Note

**_A note from your author:_**

 _Hello my lovely readers. I appreciate all of your lovely feedback on this rewrite. And I swear I will Not give it up. However for now, it is being placed on a temporary hiatus. I do not know how long. Perhaps until I have finished Not so Black and White. Perhaps longer. I will not give up on this though. I swear it. I kind of hit a road block, so for now I simply cannot focus on it, along with the other 2 stories i'm working on. I am so sorry if this is disappointing news. But as my whole goal is to make this version a million times better than the original I wrote, I want to focus making sure that I give you quality (which I realize is relative, but I have reread Choose a Savior multiple times, and I cringe every time)._

 _I do however have some good news._  
 _1) All of the family stress from middle of last year is gone. My grandpa is doing much better and they think that all that remains is scar tissue. Considering the original diagnosis being we had 3-9 months with him, I am very happy!_  
 _2) I am typing this. Not from a school computer. Not on my kindle. But My OWN keyboard. I got a surface for Christmas and i'm beyond grateful for it._

 _I hope to make this only a brief hiatus (I had meant to put all of them on hiatus several months ago and couldn't even get the motivation to write up one last chapter for each story before doing that)._  
 _I've recently updated Unwanted Affections and plan to have an update for Not so Black and White soon. And hopefully I'll be back in the swing of things here soon._

 _Your ever apologetic Author,_  
 _Lily_


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